Helping Lilly Gonzalez with her sensory challenges is something her parents never imagined would happen through ice skating. Lilly is a 13-year-old, nonspeaking autistic girl.

Diagnosed with autism at 14 months and apraxia at 3 years old, her challenges extend beyond communication and social skills. She also experiences difficulties with body control, muscle movement and motor planning. Therefore, Lilly's family never envisioned her engaging in a sport as complex as figure skating.

However, three years ago, a simple suggestion changed everything.

"One of our caregivers shared that she loved figure skating and wanted to share that passion with Lilly; she thought Lilly would really enjoy it," explained Stefanie, Lilly's mother.

That first visit to the rink, right before Lilly turned 10, seemed to awaken something new. It sparked a passion that would help her work through significant challenges, including many sensory issues.

"The whole experience was a shock for us, because it was such a different environment for her, and yet she loved it," Stefanie said.

After that initial visit, Lilly started asking to go skating over and over again. In response, Stefanie began calling around to find a coach who understood Lilly's needs and could teach her how to skate safely.

"We were lucky enough to find two coaches," said Stefanie, whose family resides in the Phoenix area. "One who had no experience working with skaters with disabilities; however, she was extremely passionate about learning how to support Lilly. The other coach had experience working with Special Olympics athletes and was eager to help Lilly find her place on the ice."

Lilly now takes 30-minute private lessons three times a week and has done so for the last three years. The structured, predictable environment allows her to challenge herself while still being able to pause and process what she is learning at her own pace. Her family reflects on how the steady approach has paid off.

"Since taking her first steps on the ice, she's fallen only three times," Stefanie said.

Beyond the physical skills, her development has been transformative. She has learned to engage with a variety of adults and professionals without parental assistance, follows directions in a way she never had before, flourishes with the visuals her coaches use to support her, communicates in multiple ways to ensure her needs are met, and copies body movements (which is extremely challenging for her). She has also become more adaptable to the many variables that come with taking lessons in a public space and competing.

"The disability community is out there, and it's growing, but we need more families to know they can try things they didn't imagine before, like ice skating," Stefanie said. "It may not be as easy to find, but the effort is worth it. All it takes is for a coach to be willing to work with a family, and magic can happen."

Competitions have been among the most impressive parts of Lilly's journey — not just for her family, but for everyone in the skating community. Lilly competes approximately six times per year and enters local events as a Special Olympics athlete.

Just like every other skater, she completes her warmups, performs her routine and takes photos on the podium like the champion she is. Her coach is always on the ice supporting her, and her audiences are consistently kind — cheering her on and complimenting how hard she works (and how lovely she looks in her costume). "It truly is a beautiful community," Stefanie said. 

At the start of her journey, typical figure skating attire wasn't an option for Lilly. The material of warm skating apparel was too uncomfortable due to her sensory needs, so on her first visit she arrived in a simple skirt and T-shirt and refused any extra layers despite the cold. Over time, with a consistent weekly routine, she gradually adapted to the rink environment —moving from summer clothes to pants, jackets and even leg warmers. When she first began competing, she wore sensory-friendly, handmade dresses with leggings; today, she skates in a traditional figure skating costume with tights, just like her peers.

"She's a natural out there," Stefaine said. "She loves skating fast, she has a blast doing spins and she's also working on her spiral right now. I don't know what she would be like if she didn't find ice skating. I'm so grateful we can all be a part of something like this and watch her grow in all the amazing ways she has. I just want parents to know this life may be different than what we imagined, but it is still absolutely beautiful — we just need to be able to adapt our perspectives a bit."

Another striking thing people notice about Lilly on the ice is the ways she communicates with her coaches — from gestures to vocal sounds and approximations, and especially through the use of her AAC device (augmentative and alternative communication).

"We have always been focused as a family on how to help Lilly communicate," Stefanie said.

At the age of 2, after realizing the suggestions from professionals at the time were too limited for Lilly, Stefanie and her husband heard about the potential of an AAC device and became determined to get one for her.

In Lilly's case, the device is an iPad with a sturdy case and a specialized app that allows her to communicate by pushing buttons while the iPad speaks the messages. The family purchased the device on their own, because they did not have any professional assistance at the time. Stefanie then taught herself how to use the device and began modeling language for Lilly — who soon started to thrive.

Inspired by her daughter's progress, Stefanie began sharing information on Instagram to help empower other parents to learn how to support their children with AAC. Since AAC devices are not easily accessed by everyone who needs them, Stefanie and her cousin launched a nonprofit in 2021 called Lilly's Voice, which helps provide AAC devices to children who cannot get them through insurance, school, or private funding. In the past four years, Lilly's Voice has provided more than 550 devices to children across the United States — about one device every three days — along with consulting and training from Stefanie for every family.

To learn more about Lilly, her figure skating journey, and AAC devices, visit @AFriendForLillybug and @LillysVoice on Instagram, as well as LillysVoice.org.